shopping

When doing some shopping for a present for my dads birthday. I noticed, not the first time, the difference of shopping departments. They really cater more to women then men, unless of course it is a Male's store, but even then there's  not that many stores that are just for men.  One of my favorite stores to go to is JCPenney, I go there first before any other store.  I like the style of clothes, their prices and their coupons, plus I have a cousin that works there so that extra discount is always nice :-).  While looking for something for my dad, I noticed that they don't have a large section for males, or at least not as big as the women's.  Since my dad is also a bigger man, it took me a while to find the Big and Tall section, lets just say its not much of a section but more of a small corner.

Something that I also noticed is the prices of clothes, It seems that clothes for men are usually more  expensive than the women's. I try and think of why this could be, women for the most part shop the most, and therefore buy more clothes, sometimes at high prices, but a women could probably still get 1-2 nice outfits for maybe $100, while a male can probably get only one, or not even a full outfit. I could see how materials could be a part of it. Males are typically bigger, bulkier so therefore more materials are used to make their clothing but even then, women's plus sizes, I think are still cheaper than regular males clothing are just about the same. I wonder why this could be?  Is it that women are regular shoppers so the clothes are at lower prices because they shop more and to keep women coming back? Sale racks are also usually cheaper for women too, some $5 or up,  products can be found while Male's sales racks are usually at $10 or up.

When thinking back at some of the things that we have read so far this semester, we could also see that media has been a big part of the social construction, of why women are bigger shoppers than men.  When we look at commercials and television shows, for the most part, women are spotlighted in store advertisements. Yes, there are some men as well but not as much as women. Shows like "Sex and the City", "House Wives of Orange County, Atlanta..etc" all have women that are always so nicely dressed and therefore also contribute to the promotion of clothing, especially some that have their own line of clothes. In the book John Fiske, talks about audience power, the power of the audience to interpret media text, and determine their popularity, far outweighs the ability of media institutions to send a particular message or ideology to audience through their texts (Gauntlet 2002). With this we could see that the commercials and the advertisements that some television programs have, as well as the promotions that other artists make are sending a message to the audience. A message that can promote buying certain brands or items.  All this can also contribute to reasons why stores can also have more women's clothing, than men, because for the most part men are not as interested in clothing as women are or do not have as much time as women. Or because there so much marketing for womens than men that they give women a larger variety of clothes than they do for men.

      VS.

"Women's Work"

Today on my way to campus I was trying to find a radio station to listen to and while searching, I came across a conversation on a station, about "womens work." On 101.9 WTMX http://www.wtmx.com/ek.php - Kathy and Eric the hosts. were talking about a survey that was done with 10 women and 10 men about if there really is such a thing as womens work.  The participants of the survey had no knowledge of what the questions would be so this was there answers; 20% of women said that there was such a thing as "women's work" and when the men were asked 90% said that there was such a thing as "womens work." As we can see there is a significant difference in the answers that women and men gave. The hosts continued to talk about why this could have been. Kathy suggested that the 80% of women that said there was no such thing, could be because women who took offense to that terminology. Kathy continues to say that if other terminology would have been used the answers could have possibly been different. This got me thinking of other possible terminology that could have been used (clean light, soft work..)  and  no matter what, it still seemed to come up as an offense to women.  What other terminoology could have been used to make it more neutral?

 They also touched on the actual house work that they feel are attributed to women and men. They agreed that for the most part males have the dirtier work, cleaning outside, keeping maintance of the cars, and the women would deal withe children and other cleanning around the house. In there conversation Kathy stated that  if she made dinner, then she would not be the one to clean up after, and eric agreed to this as well, that it wouldn't be fair. 

We say that things aren't fare and there should be more eqaul work but yet things continue to stay the same, In Gaunlettes book, on page 5 we see national statistics from 2006, that shows how much more time women spent on housework than men. Women on average spent 178 mins a day on housework, compare to 100 minutes for men. Women spent 159 min. cleaning,cooking, washings, and shopping, compared to 71min, that is about half the time women spend. Although these statisicts are older, what are the chances that there has been any change,  if we still continue to see women struggling for their rights.

Pre-school visit

On Tuesday April 2nd, I went to school with my daughter. It was her birthday and I wanted to spend the day with her.  While at her school there were many small things that I saw that pertained to gender.  Mostly the situations were when the children were playing or when lining up for lunch time or to go to the bathroom.  One situation that really stuck out to me was when the children had "free time," a time where they get to play whatever they wanted. My daughter along with other children both boys and girls, were playing. I was not playing much, but facilitating their playtime because, their younger children and they aren't so good at sharing. I looked over to tell a pair of children to share and then when I look back at one of my daughters classmates,  the first thing I heard was "look their humping".I looked at the little girl and she had two dolls, she was moving the boy doll on top of the girl doll.  She said it twice before I actually told her to stop, I was so shocked!!I was at a loss of  words,  at what she was doing. Luckily I was the only one that noticed her doing this, the other kids were busy playing with the dolls and playhouse.

I could not wrap my head around what had just happened because it was such an unexpected thing. I expected to see kids not sharing with each other because they were boys or girls, but to actually see someone doing that was so surprising.  As we have learned in previous class, about Piaget's stages of Cognitive Development, at age 4/5 (Preoperational stage) children are beginning to represent the world with words and images; these words and images reflect increased symbolic thinking and go beyond the connection of sensory information and physical action. This could explain the the child's reenactment of something that she could have witness but its still hard to think that at such a young age some children are witnessing sex. Obviously I don't know how the child knows about this, it could be through the parents, TV or other things, but still.. Also the language that the little girl used was not "sex" but "humping" this could also come to conclude the type of language that might be spoken around her at home.

Another thing that I found interesting, besides that fact that she did that "humping" action with the dolls, is that the dolls that she used were of her own race, African American.  I found this interesting because this could also potently signal that she could have seen someone close to her in a similar situation, or that she simply prefers to play with dolls that share things in common with her.

Even more interesting, when I was looking for a picture for the blog I googled the doll names and things showed but not what I was looking for. I had to google more specifically, black loving family dolls and I found this picture. A nice little family with  4 children. This was interesting because when I googled  "loving family" a white doll family showed up but they had no more than three children, yet the black family had 4 children in it.. coincidence or on purpose??
Why is it that society would attribute a large amount of children to minority families than white. We could say that because typically minorities do have larger families because they might not have the resources to birth control and to doctors,  but then again, it could just be society's construction and way of portraying minorities to younger children and in a way teaching or showing them what their families could possibly look like when they get older.

toy guns

So this weekend my younger brothers can upstairs to my house to show my boyfriend their new BB guns that my dad bought them.  There were two things that I disliked about this situation. One that it really annoys me that my dad buys my ten year old brother guns, and not even those little BB guns, there like the huge automatic.. blah blah blah.. I don't even remember the name of them I just saw that they were guns, big and didn't really care for them. The second thing that I disliked about this situation is that my daughter asked for one.
 At this point I didn't want to seem like I'm such a mean mom that doesn't let her daughter play with a "boy toy", because to me guns are more of a boy toy then a girl toy and I usually encourage my daughter to play with boy toys. Anyways I didn't want to seem like that to my daughter or have her question why I let her play with other boy toys and not this one, but this is a time, as mother, where I thought "where do i draw the line of what "boy toys" she could not play with."  As a mother I love that my daughter  isn't to girly or a complete tomboy, she has a good balance, not that I would really mind if she was either or , but I see myself in her, this was the way I was. So of course she asked for one and I said no, she got upset and of course her dad found a smaller one to give her. So all the boys and Juliza went outside and shot at some paper target that they has also bought.  I love that my daughter likes to interact with boys and that her and her dad and young uncles were able to bond, but I just don't like the whole gun idea. I also understand that its good to have children interact with different gendered toys, As Isabelle D. Cherney explained, play assessment shows that this qualitative research helps increase a more complex interaction and that its important because it opens up more possibilities of complex interaction and cognitive development and that is all great and all but I still don't feel comfortable with my daughter using this specific toy because of the fact that it is a DANGEROUS toy that she can become hurt from. As a typical boy toy exciting and dangerous, it might cause my daughter happiness, but if she would have gotten hurt, I don't know if I'd be upset and say "I told you so" to her and her dad or be upset with my self for not completely stopping her from playing with the gun.. I guess I was torn between her acceptance with her dad and uncles,who usually never want her to participate because shes is a girl, and with the idea of her happiness and her safety..

More babies

As I continued reading Elizabeth Mitchell's article she came to talk about her mother asking her brothers, if she had talked about having children yet. Elizabeth explains that everyone around her asks when she will become a mother, now that she in her late twenties. She states " In society, babies have come to represent everything but unmaturated human beings. They function as the nexus for debate and discussion in the world changed by feminism. Few people expect women's love relationships to resemble those of our grandmothers  or our mother , but more still wonder how anyone could reject children." She continues to say that for many mothers, babies are safety nets, because if anything else in life went wrong at least she bore children. 
For Elizabeth's own self and many other women like her, who aren't very interested in having children at an earlier age, she says that "children lie down the road, like a can they keep kicking and catching up to." Elizabeth  feels that she doesn't want her life to reside when another human being is born and I  can understand this.  There is no need for a women to feel that her life begins when she has a child, yes it might be  great experience for some but at the same time for others who don't really want children, it could become a challenge and a battle between their social life and their motherly life.

Being a mother at an early age for me wasn't my plan , but it is something that I learned to accept and to improve and now that my daughter is three, and I have experienced so much with her, I would not change anything. Motherhood was defiantly a challenge being young, because I had to adapt to the role of caring for someone else when I hadn't  finished learning a lot about life. I feel that these past years have allowed me to mature more and to learn the responsibilities that come with having a child, financially and emotionally but at the same time its something that I have realized has sort of  taken my youth. While I see friends and family going out on the weekends yes, it sucks to know that I cant go because I have motherly duties that I have to attend to first. I feel that its still different for  a women than a man when having children. Or maybe just in my experience, not saying that my boyfriend doesn't help out with my daughter, because in all reality he's been with my daughter more than me , but its a lot easier for him to say, I'm going out with friend, than it is for me.  For me, I feel that I need to plan so far ahead.  The very few times that i do go out I have to find someone to watch her, because its rare that he wants to stay home while I'm out with friends. I also have to make sure that she has what she needs if shes aways from home, like an extra pair of clothes, snacks and toys. I feel that its more work that I'm doing to go out that,  that's why I don't go out as much, plus because I am always away due to school and work that I like spending as much time as I can with her.

Back to the topic of more babies...While I was in Mexico, the beginning of this year, there were plenty of times that my family would ask my when was I going to have my next child. I looked at them, as if they were crazy! They compare me to my sister and say, shes already had two and your only on your first.  It's a little hard to explain and have them understand what like in American is compared to life in Mexico.  Thier so used to the Mexican traditions , being young finding a boyfriend, being married and having children.  That is not my plans at all! Yes I have a child but, I go to college, and work, as well as being involved with different organizations. Some of my Mexican family thinks I'm weird for not being a stay at home mom but I LOVE it. I have never seen myself as such, I like staying busy.  I don't plan on having any more children anytime soon, or even at all, who knows. My plans for now are all academic oriented. Don't get me wrong, I love my Mexican roots and our traditions, but I don't like that one or the stereotype of young minority mothers not getting far in their lives, I took this as a challenge when I found out I was pregnant and challenged myself to be different and Ive succeed thus far.  Although my daughter is sad that I'm not home a lot, at the same time it makes me happy to hear her say that she wants to go to college like me when she grows up, so as far as I know I'm filling my motherly duties, just in a different way. :-)
Q: Do people think a lot less of a mothers who are away from a child and being successful in life, as not being a good mother? If so why?

Motherly Instinct

As I read "An Odd Break With the Human Heart," a couple of days ago, I could see my daughter doing the things that I was reading about and it just really made me realize how fast children pick up on certain things. One statement that Elizabeth said that triggered my daughters' images in my head, is when she started talking about taking her  three-year-old niece ( the same age as my daughter) for a walk and just examining the way that the little girl worried about her fluffy white rabbit. The little girl made sure that the bunny was secure in her basket and that she was careful to go over bumps on the sidewalk.  Shortly after telling this story, Elizabeth said that she " Felt overwhelmed by how sweet she was in her compassion, but I felt troubled too, by how prepared she was for the life of a girl."
This statement got me thinking as well, that my daughter too, is already  learning the basics for being nurturing, a girl and even mother like, even almost starting to develop a motherly instinct, because do we truly know when that happens? Is it when you first find out that your pregnant or when you start to feel your baby move, when you give birth, or could it be the first time you fall in love with a doll that has become the best part of your life growing up?  By the way my daughter truly cares for her stuffed animals and the way she makes sure that they are fed, bathed, and have their rest, isn't that like being a mother? Yes it night not be the whole motherly traits or the whole actions, but the fact that she acknowledges their needs and that she knows what "to do" (give them medicine/cuddle them) when "their sick", could this not be the beginning of her instincts or just the beginning of her "girl duties."

People say that when a women becomes a mother her motherly instincts come through, but don't we learn basic instincts while growing up, such as learning to suck on things that touch our mouths, when hungry, lose the fear of height when we start learning  to climb stairs, or try to find something to hold on to when we fell that were falling.
These two conversations that we had in class brought together my post for today, we talked about the article and also about the blog that someone had wrote about the motherly instinct. Its hard to say when it starts but I feel that if it continues to develops when we are mothers, so couldn't we possibly assume that it started to grow somewhere in our youth, as we grew up learning to care for someone and we just call it motherly instinct when we are mothers.

power in relationships

To go off my earlier post (female/male roles), I grew up learning that males and females played very distinct roles in our lives. Growing up I always saw males be the dominate ones, the ones that worked more, got paid more did the dirty work, where the females were more gentle, did cooking cleaning, taking care of the children, maybe working, but only in the mornings so that they could be with their children later in the evening.  I see my father and males in general as the one with power in the relationship, they handle most of the money/ they make most of it and they make bigger decision.  Foucault's understanding of power is different. He sees power not as an asset that one person can have but as something that is exercised within interactions (Gaunlette 128). "Power is everywhere; not because it embraces everthing, but because it comes from everywhere...Power is not an institution, and not a structure neither is it a certain strength we are endowed with; it is the name that one attributes to a complex strategical situation in a particular society (Gaunlette 128)." 
  How I interpret this statement is that power is everywhere in our environment, and its hard to avoid it.  Power is not a single place or something physical but rather it is something that comes out when we are in certain position/situation in our life, such as at a great job that pays a good salary, or in a relationship where one person makes bigger decisions. In my personal relationship, where my boyfriend is the stronger, louder, one , I feel that I have the more power in our relationship.  I say this because I am the one with the most education, I keep our household financially stable, I am more social, I am the most active when things need to get done,and  I make the big decisions in our household. Although I seem to have the most power, I don't verbally say it out loud due to the fact that I still want him to feel as if he has enough power to see each other as equals in our relationship,or I just don't want to make him feel awkward, so if we don't talk about it we don't really realize it, but its true.
To end my post my question is : How do men really feel about women that have more power than they do? Is it intimidating, do they feel lower, less appreciated?

Gauntlett, David. Media, Gender and Identity. 2nd. New York: Routledge, 2008. 129. Print.